by Dr. Karen Sherman www.drkarensherman.com Dr. Karen Sherman offers information to help couples deal with potential relationship difficulties. Ah, Honeymoon Ah, the honeymoon. That glorious time that truly allows you to relax together after all the stressful planning and hard work that went into your wedding. It is a playful time with no worries, no job responsibilities - just several days for you to totally enjoy your new wedded bliss. Honeymoons come in all shapes and sizes. Some of you will be experiencing the hustle and bustle of exciting cities. Others will be basking in the sun on glistening sands. Whatever it is, your honeymoon is a holiday that allows you to get away from the routine and be completely alone with each other. In reality, some of you may be looking forward to your honeymoon with even greater anticipation than the wedding day. Couples who go on vacation, even when it’s only for a day or two, always attend to what they consider the important aspects of their trip - the location, the accommodations, plane tickets, vaccines, visas. The depth of the planning may vary, but in some fashion, there is planning. Yet, many times one crucial element of the trip never gets addressed and that is the expectations that each individual has for how the trip will be. At first glance, this may seem silly. After all, it should be obvious that the expectation for each, and as a couple, is to relax, have fun, and enjoy each other. Yes, of course, that is what each of you wants. However, it is important to spell out more specifically what each of you means by having fun. Do you sleep until noon or is sleeping late a waste of ray time? Do you expect to dine in fine restaurants every night or is eating on the run sufficient? If you are touring, does the day end when the museums close, or do you stop early so that you will have time to make love and nap before dinner? Is evening entertainment important? The examples could go on and on. The point is that different people have different expectations. To assume that your partner has similar ones to you (though he/she may) is leaving yourself wide open for disappointment. And since the honeymoon takes on such significance, not only as it is happening but for years to come as you reflect back on it, you want to do all you can to ensure that it is what you and your partner want. How can you do this? It is really quite simple - talk about it. Tell your partner how you would like your vacation to be; ask what specifically appeals to him/her. If there is some fantasy you have, especially a romantic one, it is important that you speak up now. You have to let your partner in on your dreams. Though your partner may know you really well, he or she is not a mind reader. So if there is something that you really want, you will have a much better chance of getting it if you let your partner in on it. If you can, have this discussion before you go. Often, once you are in the situation and there is a let down of expectations, emotions start creeping in and it becomes harder and harder to talk about it. Resentment builds and your trip could be spoiled. You certainly don’t want that to happen. So, add this one other item to your preparation: talk about what you each expect from the honeymoon. Then, go away and have the time of your life! Copyright © Dr. Karen Sherman www.karensherman.com