by Dr. Karen Sherman www.drkarensherman.com Dr. Karen Sherman offers information to help couples deal with potential relationship difficulties. Raining Cats and Dogs Having a pet as part of your newly formed family can present some hairy issues. For the pet owner, the cat (or dog or hamster) is an important member, holding a special place in his/her heart. Just when you thought that the two of you had discussed everything, one of you makes reference regarding who will take care of Fluffy while you are on your honeymoon. The question, if raised by the owner, is made with the assumption that the pet will be part of the family. The one who has never owned a pet might be quite surprised by the idea of an animal living in the house and may not understand the importance of the pet. This is a good opportunity to respond to your differences and to work them out. It is important to: Listen respectfully and understand your partner’s point of view, though it is likely to be different from your own. Be aware and sensitive to any health concerns, i.e. allergies. Discuss practical issues like responsibilities for care-taking and extra financial considerations. Factor in any restraints imposed on you because of your new residence. Consider time factors including the time that will be taken away from the two of you as a couple. Remember potentially different cleaning styles. To give up a pet is a loss. If there is room for a compromise, maybe the two of you could agree to keep Fluffy, with the stipulation that there would be no new pets. If there are serious considerations, such as allergies or apartment restrictions, that dictate the need to give up the pet, be aware that this will not be an easy decision for the pet owner. If that is your partner, be kind and loving and sensitive. If the pet owner is you, acknowledge the pain and realize that there may be a grieving period. By continuing to talk honestly and openly, you and your partner will not only avoid terrible misunderstandings and hurt feelings now, but you will both learn more about each other and how to resolve conflicts in the future. Copyright © Dr. Karen Sherman www.karensherman.com